First Love.

Alright, to start off this heartbreak was a long distance relationship. I met him during summer of ‘08, thru a mutual friend. He was really nice, but I meant to only TEXT him. I’m a friendly person & I overlook to talk/t hiext. So I gave him my number, 

we texted back & forth. At first I didn’t think he was cute, but hey. It’s whatever, not like I was looking forward to going out with him. Well, we talked more & more. I couldn’t believe myself, I was actually FALLING for him. He asked me out, I rejected with a 'NO!’ because I wasn’t ready. Then soon after, he attempted again, succeeding with a yes from me. (: We went out on July 28, 2008. I was constantly on the phone, no matter what I was doing, at least for a little while. He was insecure about me & going out because he thought that “he was going to lose me to my friends.” & I have many, MANY guys friends. It’s just my scene, I get along better with them annoyance? Anyways, yeah. Well, we went onto a month of going out & eventually an “I love you.” slipped out. I swear I didn’t mean to say it, I was busy playing a game & was about to hang up. He was like, “What? Wait, what did you say?” I was like, “What? I don’t know? Bye?” & he was like, “No.. you said I love you…. well, I love you too.” I was on top of the world. I meant it, I just said it unexpectedly. Well, the more we progressed, the more we argued. He turned out to be the type of guy that talked down on you. For example, he made me cry in front of ALL my childhood friends & they were all guys. They were comforting me & whatnot, so he felt sorry & apologized. “Baby, I’m sorry. I didn’t meant to. I love you.” That was how it was every time. Eventually when we argued he would tell me to “Shut the fuck up” when we argued, I’ve never felt so low in my life. But I really did love him.. & I still kinda do. We had a big age difference, I was 16 & he was 20 at the time. I even told him about it! He obviously didn’t care, but that was okay with me. (: He lived in Georgia, while I lived in Texas. I was excited to see him.. His flaws? Oh my damn, so many. He was 20, jobless, & lived with his parents. Although, that didn’t matter to me either. While being with me, he went thru many jobs. He also got kicked out of his parent’s house & that was one of our bonds. I cried because I was worried for him, I couldn’t be there to help him in any way. But he moved in with his sister.. we went out for 4 months & VERY SLOWLY lost contact. He ended up not calling me for a week & I was thinking about how he was going to break up with me. One week later, he called. I was so happy to hear his voice because he was also phone-less. He told me that we should end things because he’s really busy with work. I hung up after agreeing. Of course, I cried & cried.

I’m the type of girl that’s friends with all her ex-boyfriends, so I went to the movies the next day & called him before I went in. He thought I called him “hunny” & was like, “What did you just call me?” I replied with, “S—–?” He was like, “Oh. I thought you called me hunny.” & I said, “What if I did?” He told me that he couldn’t tell me the reasons because I would get really mad at him. 10 minҜutes later, he said, “My girl will get mad at me.” I WAS ABSOLUTELY DEVASTATED. I broke down outside the movies & ended up going home. I cried for 4 days straight, & barely ate. One day… really? One effin’ day & he already finds another girl. AND SHE’S THERE WITH HIM. Several months pass by & they broke up. She left him for another guy.. karma much? HA! (: and then comes July 28, 2009. I texted him saying, “Happy supposed to be one year…” But at the time, I was 'talking’ to his cousin. I know, messed up. But he liked me & he was the OPPOSITE of my ex. I’ve had a couple of boyfriends after my ex & vice versa, but I still can’t get him out of my head. No one has ever hurt me SOO much & do it 2 more times. Yes, we’ve been talking lately & he admitted to “missing us & still having feelings everytime we talk.” I told him he only says that because him & his current fight too much, he ends up calling me. But I went out with his cousin anyways for a good 6 months, we were always on & off.. but we officially called it quits.. I feel really bad because sometimes, I’m thinking of ’S’ instead of him. Just all the hurt feelings & unforgettable talks. I need to let him go… I can’t be a side girl anymore. I feel like I am, & I know I am..

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